H abits come in one of three forms -- good, bad and indifferent. They are all acquired behaviors that you do often and automatically, and are difficult to change. That's especially true of bad habits. While it can seem impossible to break free of their pull, you can do it with careful thought and some work.

WHERE TO START

Make a list of the habits that concern you. Typical items include eating junk food, going to bed late, excessive shopping or Internet browsing, or interrupting others in conversation.

With list in hand, consider what each habit is doing for you. For example, habits can serve to relieve boredom, lower anxiety or create excitement. There is always a reason we hold on to a habit. The more you understand any habit, the better you can deal with it.

CREATE HABIT AWARENESS

You built your bad habit over time, and it will take time to reverse it. The process requires a series of steps.

The first step involves creating in-depth habit awareness. To achieve this, do the following about a habit you wish to break...

Keep a "habit record." Include the date and time you felt the urge to indulge, the duration of the urge and if you gave in.

Make lists of advantages and disadvantages. Under "advantages," note reasons for keeping the habit. Under "disadvantages," reasons for changing it.

When you indulge, identify what came before -- the feelings and situations that triggered the habit behavior.

What were you thinking when the habit urge hit you? To harness these automatic thoughts, slow your thinking process. Ask yourself what mental steps you made between seeing or experiencing something and the urge to eat candy, bite your nails, etc.

Example: You see candy and you think, "That would taste great" ... "I have been careful on my diet so it doesn't matter"... "I deserve a treat"... "I am weak."

DEVELOP ALTERNATE THOUGHTS

Changing your behavior involves changing the way you think. Thoughts to watch for include...

Self-pitying thoughts. "I've had such a bad day," "I'm so irritated," "I didn't deserve that." Mentally dispute these types of thoughts because they lead to feeling that you deserve to indulge.

Conclusion thoughts. "I'm no good anyway" or "I'm too weak to beat this." Eliminate these punishing thoughts by inserting alternate conclusions such as, "I made a mistake that time." Alternate conclusions don't punish. They draw you closer to finding new ways to behave.

"Should" thoughts. "Should" statements such as, "I should be able to quit this," are destructive. By substituting alternate thoughts such as, "I would be better off if I didn't do this," you open the avenue to change. "Should" thoughts reflect all-or-nothing thinking, which is rarely compatible with reality.

Harmful-belief thoughts. These are defeating thoughts, such as, "I can't resist chocolate," that lead to, "I have no control over my behavior." To overcome them, keep a record of the basic harmful belief along with evidence that supports it and evidence that shows it isn't true.

Example: "I can't resist junk food." Evidence: "I ate a candy bar this afternoon." Counterevidence: "I had a healthy breakfast and a salad for lunch."

Forget the guilt. People around you may try to use guilt to entice you to change, but feeling guilty generally becomes an emotional trigger for bad habit behavior.

DEVELOP ALTERNATIVE BEHAVIOR

One of the most important steps in changing a habit is to develop a "competing response" -- behavior that is incompatible with your bad habit, that you can do as often as you need and for as long as it takes for the urge to stop. You must also be able to do this without interfering with other activities.

Examples: If your bad habit is biting your nails, try clenching your fist as a competing response. When you feel the urge to bite, clench instead. If interrupting others is your bad habit, develop a mantra to repeat to yourself when you're tempted to intrude, perhaps asking yourself if the timing is appropriate, or reminding yourself to wait a few seconds to speak.

Competing responses are also helpful in making you more aware of your habit and its urges.

BUILD GOOD HABITS

Good habits are the most effective competing responses there are. Whatever challenge you decide to take on, don't get paralyzed worrying if it is exactly the right thing. Just do it. You can always make adjustments later. Keep in mind the advantages of making this change, and the disadvantages you would face if you didn't make it. Finally, you're more apt to meet with success if you keep it simple and convenient.

Example: You've decided to stop watching so much television and instead become more physically fit. Rather than joining the elaborate gym 40 minutes from your home, go for the no-frills gym that is five minutes away.

Remember, while the payoff for good habits is long term, it takes time to reach it. To stay inspired on the journey, make a list of reminders about what you are doing and why. Keep a journal of your progress. Writing is a powerful way to reenforce efforts.

Strategy: Add to your sense of accomplishment by putting colored stars next to your markers of improvement.

EVALUATE LAPSES

Sometimes you'll slip. If you remember that a lapse does not a relapse make, your bounce back will be easier. Evaluate what was going on at the time of your lapse, and what thoughts or situations triggered your behavior. Learn from it and you'll be stronger the next time.