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How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less
Nicholas BoothmanApril 1, 2003 Special from Bottom Line/Personal
P eople decide if they like you within two seconds of meeting you. Here is how to make sure your first impression is a good one...
Point your heart toward the heart of the other person.
This technique can even defuse a hostile situation. A corporate student of mine was one of three people berated by an important client, the intimidating owner of a large grocery store chain. The bully's other two targets meekly apologized. That only made the client angrier. My student "matched" the client. Using similar arm gestures and a similarly raised voice, he told the man that he was absolutely right -- that they had let him down. Within minutes, the client had his arm around my student's shoulder. Helpful: After a few moments of matching, change your movements. If the other person follows suit, he feels in sync with you. If not, continue matching movements and try again. If you are dealing with an angry person, gradually lower your voice and open your body language. If you are speaking with someone who seems bored, lean forward and see if he becomes more animated.
Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Nicholas Boothman, licensed practitioner of neurolinguistic programming, a branch of applied psychology devoted to the improvement of communications skills. He first developed an interest in the field when he was a photographer and needed to establish instant rapport with his subjects.
Based in Ontario, Canada, he is author of How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less (Workman). www.nicholasboothman.com |
