L ife is particularly stressful these days. For many Americans, the threat of terrorism has brought unaccustomed anxiety, trouble sleeping and profound sadness. For others, the burdens they shouldered easily yesterday seem hard to bear today.

If you have been reluctant to try therapy because you’re afraid that others will find out, relax. No one has to know about it -- and anything you say to your therapist will be kept confidential. Be aware, though, that if you submit bills through your company’s insurer, your employer may find out.

If you now are thinking about seeking professional help, here are answers to the most common questions about psychotherapy.

HOW DO I KNOW IF I NEED THERAPY?

The key determinant is whether your feelings and thoughts have been causing you distress and interfering with your life for two weeks or longer. Has it been hard to concentrate? Are your family and social relationships strained? Do you avoid activities that you once enjoyed? Are you unable to control your drinking, eating or smoking?

HOW CAN I FIND A GOOD THERAPIST?

A referral from your family doctor -- or a friend who thinks highly of his/her own therapist -- is a good place to start. The American Psychological Association (800-964-2000, www.apa.org) and the American Psychiatric Association (888-357-7924, www.psych.org) also can supply names of members.

Most health insurance providers offer some coverage for psychotherapy and have lists of participating therapists.

There are three kinds of therapists...

Psychiatrists are physicians who have had several years of special residency training after medical school.

Both clinical psychologists and clinical social workers have advanced degrees. Psychologists usually have PhDs, and social workers, master’s degrees. They also have at least two years of supervised clinical training, meaning that they worked with patients rather than just teaching or doing research.

Only psychiatrists can prescribe medication. But all three types of professionals treat the same kinds of emotional problems. No matter what type of therapist you choose, he/she should be licensed by your state.

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT WHEN EVALUATING A THERAPIST?

When you meet with the prospective therapist, tell him about yourself and why you’re seeking help. Ask about his approach -- what he actually does in therapy. Inquire about his training and experience, particularly in working with problems like yours.

Most important, get a sense of the chemistry between you. Does the therapist listen to you empathically and understand your problems? Do you feel you can speak freely and that you can work together -- that he can help you?

Consider the first session or two a try out -- but expect to pay for it as you would any session. If you’re not satisfied, keep looking.

WHAT HAPPENS IN THERAPY?

There are many different kinds of therapy. Most are variations on these three themes. Many therapists combine elements of each...

Psychodynamic therapy emphasizes how your life today is shaped by your past. The therapist often stays in the background, letting you unearth memories, fears and wishes, subtly guiding you on a voyage of self-discovery.

Example: You feel lonely, even among friends. The therapist asks if you recall feeling similarly when you were younger and encourages you to explore memories that arise. As you understand where the feelings come from -- perhaps your parents ignored you in your earliest years -- they lose their grip on you.

More information: American Psychoanalytic Association (212-752-0450, www.apsa.org).

Cognitive behavioral therapy sticks more closely to the present. The therapist assumes an active role, like a coach, helping you identify and change problem thought and behavior patterns.

Example: As a homework assignment, you note situations that enrage you and tune in to the thoughts that arise just before you lose your temper. In your next session, you examine these thoughts objectively and talk about how you can change them.

More information: Association for the Advancement of Behavior Therapy (212-647-1890, www.aabt.org).

Humanistic therapy emphasizes being rather than doing. Creating a supportive environment is important in all therapies, but the humanistic orientation makes it -- and the full experience and acceptance of one’s feelings -- absolutely central. In this way, you free yourself from inhibitions that block you from realizing your potential.

Example: A quarrel with a coworker leaves you feeling depressed. In the therapy session, you imagine yourself back in the situation and -- with the therapist’s encouragement -- become aware of the anger you suppressed.

More information: Association for Humanistic Psychology (510-769-6495, wwww.ahpweb.org).

WHAT HAPPENS IN GROUP AND FAMILY THERAPY?

In group therapy, the insights of other members -- and your interactions with them -- help you understand and surmount your problems. It costs less than individual therapy and can be especially helpful if relationships are causing you distress.

More information: American Group Psychotherapy Association (877-668-2472, www.agpa.org).

Family and marital therapies are other forms of group therapy.

More information: American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (202-452-0109, www.aamft.org).

SHOULD I TAKE MEDICATION?

Drugs such as the antidepressants paroxetine (Paxil) and fluoxetine (Prozac) often work faster than psychotherapy -- and cost less. But they can have unpleasant side effects, such as weight gain or drowsiness.

Medication can be indispensable for serious psychiatric disorders, such as bipolar illness (manic depression) or schizophrenia. For most problems, however, either medication or psychotherapy is effective. Sometimes the best solution is both. Chronic depression, for example, responds best to the combination.

More information about medications is available at www.mentalhealth.com

HOW LONG MUST I BE IN THERAPY?

Often, solid gains can be made within 12 weekly sessions, especially when therapy focuses on a specific problem, such as social anxiety or fear of flying. Deeply entrenched difficulties -- such as loneliness or a sense of worthlessness -- may need more extended work.