C ancer patients are surviving longer than ever before. Today, 58% of cancer patients live for at least five years following diagnosis. Twenty years ago, only 49% survived that long.
This increase in survival is wonderful news. But living with cancer presents tough emotional challenges. I know from firsthand experience.
Twenty-four years ago, at the age of 32, I found a cancerous lump on my right testicle. Doctors found a second lesion on my left lung -- indicating that the tumor had metastasized. I was given less than one year to live.
I was terrified. But I resolved to take responsibility for my treatment. I insisted on getting full information about my treatment options... and on working in partnership with my doctors.
After a few run-ins with the medical establishment, I got the treatment I thought I needed. Today, I am cancer-free.
As a cancer survivor -- and as a clinical psychologist who works with cancer patients -- I’ve learned a great deal about coping with the disease. Here’s the advice I wish I had gotten when I was diagnosed...
DON’T GIVE IN TO SELF-BLAME...
Because our culture is so focused on healthy living, cancer patients often ask, “What did I do -- or not do -- to cause my cancer? What if I had exercised more, eaten more fiber, etc.?”
There’s certainly no harm in improving your lifestyle. Soon after my diagnosis, I stopped smoking, altered my diet and began an exercise program.
Maybe if I had adopted these habits sooner -- and gotten more frequent medical exams -- my cancer might have been less severe. Then again, it might not have made any difference.
No one really knows what causes a malignancy. Rather than dwelling on the past, it’s better to look to the future -- getting well and living as fully as possible.
... OR TO SELF-PITY
Newly diagnosed cancer patients often spend weeks asking, “Why me?” A more productive question is, “Now that I have cancer, where do I go from here?”
Pondering this question mobilizes you to take whatever steps are necessary to cope with your disease and its treatment.
LET YOURSELF FEEL ANGER
If having cancer makes you mad, don’t think you must hide your feelings. Expressing how you feel has a positive effect on your immune system, according to recent research.
GET MORE INFORMATION
To maintain a sense of choice among conventional and alternative therapies, you may want to find out as much as you can about your specific form of cancer.
When I was diagnosed, I went to the library and read all I could on testicular cancer. From my reading, I decided that I needed chemotherapy. My doctor told me that chemotherapy was not an option -- and recommended surgery instead.
I found a doctor willing to give me chemo in addition to surgery. Had I followed my first doctor’s advice, I don’t think I would have survived.
For more information on your cancer treatment options, contact the National Cancer Institute (800-422-6237, www.nci.nih.gov)... and the American Cancer Society (800-227-2345, www.cancer.org).
Some other helpful resources include Health and Healing Resource Center (Planetree), 2040 Webster St., San Francisco 94115, 415-923-3681... and The Health Resource, 933 Faulkner St., Conway, Arkansas 72032, 800-949-0090. For a $75 to $300 fee, these companies will conduct a search of the scientific literature on your cancer and send you a bound report on their findings.
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
Patients whose doctors consider them “hard to deal with” tend to live longer than patients who are overly deferential to their doctors.
Rather than being meek and compliant, insist that you be treated with respect... and that your concerns always be addressed.
If you have trouble standing up to your doctors, take a look at the Patients’ Bill of Rights. Your hospital should be able to supply you a copy.
REACH OUT TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Cancer is easier to bear if you have support of friends and family. Sadly -- as cancer survivors soon discover -- having cancer makes those around you uncomfortable. That can cause them to avoid you... or say hurtful things.
To improve communication with these people, try “framing” difficult feelings in terms of your own emotions.
Wrong way: “You should be more sensitive to me.”
Right way: “It’s hard for me to admit this, but I’m upset with you for not coming to see me.”
JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP
Support groups do more than make their members feel better. Studies conducted at Stanford University found that cancer patients who participate in support groups live longer than their peers who don’t participate.
For referral to a group near you, contact the not-for-profit organization Cancer Care at 800-813-4673, www.cancercare.org.
For information on support groups and employment and insurance rights, contact the National Coalition for Cancer Survivorship, 1010 Wayne Ave., Ste. 770, Silver Spring, Maryland 20910, 301-650-9127, www.cansearch.org.
LEARN TO COPE WITH FEAR
Although I consider myself cured, whenever I face a periodic checkup or get a cold, my fear returns. To control my anxiety, I use relaxation techniques and creative visualization.
I also keep a daily record of the date, time and place that my fear resurfaces... the intensity of my fear (one is lowest, 10 is highest)... the situation (place and with whom it occurs)... and any actions I take to dissipate my fear.
This “stress log” helps give me a sense of control over my life. It also renews my resolve to live fully every day of my life.
