P eople in a good frame of mind are generally able to find something positive in almost any given event or circumstance.

But when they feel down or “blue,” people tend to perceive the same event or circumstance in an altogether negative way.

This tendency arises from unhappiness... and it tends to promote more unhappiness.

Example: A friend fails to return your phone call. You might assume that he/she never got the message. Or -- you might take the unreturned call as a personal affront, assuming, “He doesn’t like me.”

Such negative interpretations -- repeated countless times each day -- engender a sense of hopelessness. Becoming aware of such thoughts puts you in a position to avoid them.

Do not let yourself be controlled by your emotions. They distort the way you interpret events and the actions of others.

Instead, be logical. Is there any genuine evidence that your friend has rejected you?

RETHINK ISSUES OF CONTROL

Some things lie within your control. Some don’t. Learn to tell the difference, and direct your energy and attention to those things you can control.

This helps you avoid the frustration that comes from trying to control uncontrollable things.

If you have trouble making this crucial distinction -- many depressed people do -- adopt an analytical approach.

Helpful: On a sheet of paper, list all the factors that influence some aspect of your life that’s been a source of unhappiness -- a close relationship, your job, a health concern, etc.

Using a scale from zero to 10, rate each factor according to the level of control you have over it.

Zero means that you have no control, 10 that you have total control. Concentrate on the factors that you can control.

Example: If you’re unhappy in your job, your list might look something like this...

Low pay... 5

Long hours... 5

Annoying coworkers... 8

Uncomfortable work space... 9

Passed over for promotion... 0

Although you may not be successful, you can at least try to negotiate with your boss regarding your salary and hours.

You can be more assertive with coworkers... or ask to be moved to a new department.

You can ask for a new chair or something else that might make your work space more comfortable.

But there’s not much you can do if your boss’s niece got a promotion that you’d been angling for.

WORK ON CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS

Strong, positive relationships serve as a buffer against life’s difficulties, helping to protect you from negative thoughts and feelings. The best tool for increasing intimacy with friends and family is open, honest communication.

If someone does something that bothers you, set aside time to discuss the matter with that person.

Do not suffer in silence. That will only fuel the sense of victimization that depressed individuals often feel.

Caution: If the behavior of people around you continually falls short of your expectations, consider the possibility that you’re expecting too much of them.

FIGHT THE URGE TO BE ALONE

People withdraw from social contact when they feel down. But self-imposed isolation only accentuates the preoccupation with worries and bad feelings.

No matter how bad you feel, seek out friendly contact whenever possible. Schedule a mid-morning coffee break with a coworker or neighbor... volunteer at a local hospital... or do something else that brings you in contact with others.

FIND ACTIVITIES YOU ENJOY

When you’re feeling blue, it’s hard to think of anything that might bring pleasure -- much less pursue that activity.

Helpful: On a day when you’re in a comparatively good mood, list 20 things you enjoy doing. When your mood declines again, pick something from your list and do it -- even if you dread the idea of doing anything.

EXERCISE

Besides boosting self-esteem and counteracting feelings of helplessness, exercise elevates mood for hours -- possibly by boosting levels of the “feel good” neurotransmitter serotonin.

Especially beneficial: Brisk walking, bicycling or some other vigorous form of exercise.

Yes, it’s hard to get moving when you’re feeling down. But the payoff is remarkable.

COMPARTMENTALIZE

When you feel blue, setbacks in one area blanket your whole world with a sense of doom. Unhappiness at work, conflict at home, financial woes turn into, “My life is a disaster.”

To control this tendency, keep this statement in mind: “I am more than my __________ (job, marriage, stock portfolio, etc.).”

When things go bad in one “compartment” of your life, remember the compartments in which things are going well.

FIGHT PESSIMISM

No one knows what the future will bring. One thing for sure, however, is that things will change. Why not assume that they’ll change for the better?

On a daily basis, imagine how your situation might appear to an optimist. Try to adopt the same view.

BE WILLING TO SEEK HELP

If your blue period persists despite these measures, it’s time to seek professional help. Often a brief course of psychotherapy -- typically 12 sessions -- is all that’s necessary.

Seek help without delay if you have thoughts of suicide or if you’re too down to work or fulfill family responsibilities.